Getting out the door

“The first twenty minutes always feel a bit tough for me, but it’s just my body taking its time to get back into it.”

I was surprised to hear this from my running guide. This was someone who had completed some of the hardest multi-day trail races and here she was describing exactly how I was feeling, a rookie runner attempting day 2 of running in the mountains.

When my guide said this to me, I was silently – and quite intensely - focusing on moving my body forwards. I was hoping it would be a matter of time and then my body would relax into it, but I wasn’t feeling particularly sure about that. We had just completed a 16-mile run the day before and I woke up questioning whether I’d be able to walk down a staircase, let alone run in the Alps.

Hearing my guide describe how I was feeling, even though she looked completely at ease, made me think that all runners, from the brand new to the elite, likely face the same physical and mental challenges. It’s just we don't always share these with each other and I suspect we’re quite good at hiding how we feel.

Recently, I haven’t encountered many physical hurdles as it’s been a while since I truly pushed myself. I look back on my trip to the Alps and almost miss that feeling of waking up with aching legs, knowing it meant I had spent a full day in the mountains.

But instead of physical challenges, I certainly have faced mental ones.

To illustrate a struggle with a mental hurdle I’ve had recently, I will tell you about my morning. Today was a big day. After five weeks of lockdown I finally decided that today was the day I was going to wake up early to go for a long run.

This decision was made in part because of all of the times I had spent considering whether I shouldn’t run outside because there were too many people out, or what if I missed a work call during my lunch break? There never seemed to be an ideal time to leave my house, and with the constant message to “Stay Home” I felt even more anxious about using my one-exercise-a-day token.

So I decided I was going to wake up early. I would leave the house when most of the world would still be inside, if not asleep. Problem solved.

But when my alarm went off at 6.00am, my first thought was, well, I could sleep. My second thought was, it’s not like I’m training for anything. I had other thoughts, but the overriding one was: I’ve wanted to go for an early morning run for the weeks. I should just do it.

In full disclosure, I got out of bed when my alarm went off, looked at my running clothes set out on my floor, got back into bed, informed my husband I was going to keep sleeping, and then got out of bed all over again. This all happened between 6.00am and 6.04am.

What got me out of bed that second time was experience. I knew the minute I got back into the bed again that I was going to regret not going for a run. And I knew that if I simply did not think too much about it, I would be able to get out of that door and I wouldn’t look back.

Today was one of the best runs I have had in a long time.